Excellence in Leadership Award:

Ms. Kimberly Ju

A Plaid Skirt: The Road to Self Discovery

As the third child out of four I often felt overlooked growing up. I was
neither the oldest or youngest like my sisters or the only son of the family like
my brother, I was just stuck in the middle. I was mild mannered and shy and my
biggest goal was to be a dutiful child so that my parents would have one less
thing to worry about.

Being the third child I also felt less pressure than my siblings in all
aspects: school, sports, music, extracurricular activities. I was an average
student with average ambitions who was involved in average activities in my
average life. I neither excelled nor failed, I just was. I think this is where I lost
myself.

In middle school I finally felt the weight of not having my own identity.
Nothing was ever expected of me other than doing what I was told so I never
developed any goals, direction, or personality. I did not recognize who the
person in the mirror was, who “I” was. During this time I felt anger, sadness and
loneliness. I was angry at my parents for never noticing, I was sad for myself
whom I did not know, and I was lonely because I felt that without a clear
identity I could never really be accepted by others, let alone my own self.

One day I was looking through my closet and found a skirt. My friend had
brought it back for me from Hong Kong as a souvenir and I had shoved it in the
back of my closet. It was a grey and black, plaid skirt with tiers of ruffles. Even
though I liked the skirt I never wore it because it was not what was trendy
during that time and I was never one to stand out and be noticeably different.
But for some reason I decided to put it on that day and wear it to school.

I immediately felt a change in me when I slipped that skirt on. I felt
rebellious, excited, and daring, yet strangely comfortable. I looked in the mirror
and saw myself with new eyes. It felt like I was re-introducing myself to me and
I was getting to know myself a little better. This one skirt provided me with the
first step toward finding out who I was and who I wanted to be.

Throughout high school I used clothing to further facilitate the
development of my identity. I expressed my emotions through colour and
explored with different styles. The way I dressed changed progressively as my
identity grew and changed.

Through this process of growth, I realized just how powerful of a tool
clothing can be. Putting on a certain dress can make someone feel like the most
beautiful woman in the world while wearing an old sweater can make someone

feel safe and sound. Clothing can evoke emotions, boost up confidence, provide
comfort, and establish identity.

For this reason I now study Fashion Design at UC Davis. I hope to one
day design a piece of clothing that will change someone’s life and maybe make
someone feel beautiful and special. Perhaps someday, somewhere a sad and
confused girl will pick up a skirt I designed, put it on, and feel like they have
gained a piece of themselves. I can only hope.

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